Eulogy for Mom

Note:  I lost my mother on February 24, 2018.  My wife and I were on our way to the hospital when she passed.  She was surrounded by my sisters and brother at the time of her death.  She went peacefully.  Mom was a Salvation Army solider of the Suisun Kroc Center.  Her memorial service was well attended and it went just as she would have loved.   I miss her terribly.

Eulogy for Mom

Props:  a wooden spoon; address book; book; a tv remote

On behalf of my siblings and my father I want to thank all of you for coming here today to pay tribute to our mother and beloved wife of our dad, Rollys Mae Foley.   We are indebted to the support and care from the Suisun Kroc Center family, in particular to Majors Hartt and to Captains Jonathan & Vickie Harvey.

I have literally officiated over 200 plus funerals in my life time as a Salvation Army officer and I have to confess this probably will be the hardest of all. What does one say when they lose a parent in particular a mother?  Parents are a covering of sorts.  You think they will be there forever.  But in truth that isn’t the case.

Our parents were hero’s to all five of us.  We do want to acknowledge our father, Gerry Foley, who is the biggest hero of all.  We have watched him over the years care for our mother in a variety of ways.  He has set the bar very high for what it means to stick thru thick and thin.   These two were love struck lovers.  It was sort of gross when we were kids but we grew to appreciate the sincere love and devotion they had to each other.  Some of our father’s finest days were in the past several months when he was doing all he could to make sure mom was comfortable and cared for.

Dad always told me that Foleys never quit.  He never gave up when mom’s health turned dark and difficult.  We all love you dad and thank you for all the love you showed mom over the years as a faithful spouse.

Mom was different things to all of us.  She got to deal with breaking in to the role of being a parent with my older brother, Mike.   It took her a while but she caught on.  By the time Liz came into the scene mom knew what she was doing.  She was almost always home for us and provided us with safe space growing up.  One of her bravest moments was when She took us all on a jet plane in the 60s to Japan by herself. 

She made sure we were clothed, or at least the patches on my pants were sewn or ironed on.  She served as room mom; always went to anything we were involved with in school whether it was football, endured my acting in plays and was a devoted band mom when Kate was the drum major of the Scarlet Brigade at FHS.

 She traveled all over this beautiful country, riding shotgun with my dad in their truck and 5^th wheel in tow.  She held numerous jobs over the years; working for the phone company; working at Montgomery Wards; working for many years at the book store at Solano College; volunteering for the red cross and later, becoming the advisory board chair for The Salvation Army in Fairfield.  Her and dad became very active in their involvement with The Salvation Army and eventually became a soldier.  Her and dad made a profession in faith in Christ and were very involved in the early days of the Kroc Center here.

Spoon – mom always made sure we were fed.  Growing up with 7 mouths to feed there was always enough with none left over.  You knew it was Friday when Tuna Casserole was served.  She knew how to make gravy like it was no one’s business.

Address book – mom was our yellow pages.  She always knew where any one was in our extended family. She knew anniversary’s, birthdays and never missed sending a card to us kids, grandchild and great grand kids.  

Book – mom was a book worm.  I attribute my love for books from her addiction. She made sure we all had a library card. She would make two to three trips a week to the public library and literally borrow a bag of books.  She would zip through them in a couple of days.  This went on for decades until her eyesight became so poor she could no longer read.  Dad tried to get her into the digital book age with a Sony book reader but she would have no on that.  The feel and smell of books was more her style.

Remote – what can we say – mom owned the remote!   No sports would be seen on the big tv.  My dad taught me how to appreciate watching football on a 9 inch black and white tv screen for years.  Cindy would convince her on Thanksgiving Day to turn on the Cowboys game so we could all watch The Salvation Army red kettle kick off. 

 I can remember the tv came on when Merv Griffin did and didn’t go off until the 11 pm weather report was given.  Often I would see her asleep and would ask, mom, why don’t you go to bed?  She said she always needed to see the weather report.  I attribute her interest in weather as a leading cause of my interest in it.

She was our biggest cheerleader.   She would always brag about what each of my siblings was up to doing and what they were accomplishing to me.  And then she would brag about me to my siblings.  Then we never thought she was talking about us but only about them.

Mom was in a lot of pain in recent years and we could see the slow steady progress of the end of life coming.  Her memory began to slip so and so did confusion do want to thank my sisters and brother for doing all they could to assist dad in comfort and care for her.

She was able to hang on this past Saturday until Lyn arrived from flying in that day to be able to say good bye to her.  With my sisters and brother by her side she quietly passed from this life into the next.

Her laugh and her voice has been silenced now because of deaths awful grip, but we have a ton of wonderful memories that will stick with us in the days going forward that will remind us that we were each loved and we were special to her in our unique ways. 

I would like to conclude our time with a song that has meant a lot to me over the years in dealing with death and those we love leaving us for awhile.  Lets keep mom in our hearts…for awhile…until we see her again.

Shadows are fallin' and I'm runnin' out of breath
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while

When you get up in the mornin' and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for a while
There's a train leavin' nightly called "When All is Said and Done"
Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Sometimes when you're doin' simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while

Hold me in your thoughts
Take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes
Keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north up to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for a while
These wheels keep turnin' but they're runnin' out of steam
Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Warren Zevon – Keep me in your heart

“Enjoy every sandwich.”