Flurry & Worry

In some of my recent reading I  ran across a great reminder from John Oman about the 'twin perils of ministry':  Flurry and worry.

Often time in this engagement in the 'souls of humankind', I can begin to think more highly of myself than I should.  Confession time here.  When I found myself in the midst of the whirl and buzz of establishing the Kroc Center ministry in the early days, I thought that I was so inseperable to the process.  This place surely couldn't operate successfully without me around.   Then I went off to England for 8 weeks at ICO.   Funny how the whole place didn't shut down.  In fact I called back once during a staff meeting and found out they were all doing fine without me.

This summer I was able to visit Kroc Centers in Chicago, Camden, New Jersey and Philadelphia, PA. It seems the Kroc Center ministry nationwide is just doing super fantastic without my hands getting in the way.

Learning to how to be quiet and sit still to be attuned with God is something not on our natural 'spiritual front burners.'  We can make the sad mistake in thinking that we must be and look so busy doing 'godly things' - we flurry about and then become so consumed with our worry - we basically then become ineffective.

I was invited to preach recently in the pulpit of one of my past Corps assignments, Mesa, Arizona.  As I stood in the pulpit getting ready to preach, a flood of memories came back.  But the one thing that came right to the top of my mind was that this place was functioning and moving along in ministry quite well without me at the helm any more.   That is actually biblical.  Equipping the saints for the work of the ministry so that it isn't all about me.

What sort of flurry are you involved in?  Looking busy to impress or do you slow down to listen?  Oman says that flurry disapates energy while worry constipates it.

Are you pausing long enough in the processes of life to listen to God?  To do often some self regulation on your own ego?

I need to pause more in my life and have the constant reminder that its 'not about me' but all about Him.   If I am in constant motion then I will never get out of the fog that flurry and worry makes for my soul.

Realize Life While Living It

"Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom."  Psalm 90:12  NLT

A few months ago my youngest daughter Victoria said she on summer vacation she wanted to go and see the grave of her Grandma and Grandpa Hill.  Evelyn and Joe are buried in a quiet city cemetery in Pendleton Oregon. The last time I visited Pendleton was when we laid Evelyn to rest in that very sacred spot.

We spent some time standing over their graves, clearing away any grass that was creeping over the headstone.  It was a hot July afternoon as I felt the sun baking the top of my head while I was standing there.  As I stared at the headstone a mryiad of memories came flooding back.

We lost Joe in 1992 due to heart complications.  Evelyn left us in late winter of 2006.  I close my eyes and it was like yesterday when I would be rambling to either one of them about an issue or problem that I was facing in my officership.  Joe's simple sage advice would settle me down and my mother in law laugh would shatter my sadness.

 We often would spend our vacations on the Hill family farm, a little seven acre 'hobby farm' on the west side of town.   There I would pretend I was a farmer and eagerly would move irrigation pipe or burn trash or whatever.   I had many long conversations with my wise father in law.

Alot has occured in my life since 1992.  Two more children were added.  I served in another Corps appointment.  Was on DHQ staff.  Started the Kroc Center ministry.  Went on to complete an MA in Theology and begin a Doctorate in ministry.  Moved from Assistant Principal to Principal of CFOT.  Traveled to numerous countries meeting numerous people and sharing in a variety of numerous experiences. (way too many numerous things!)  Evelyn saw most of this occur but Joe again left us too early.  He didn't even get to meet his other two grandchildren from the Foley side.

I am so often reminded of the question Emily asks of the Stage Manager from the play Our Town.  In essence she asks if people really realize life while they are living it.  The Stage Manager replies no, maybe the prophets or poets do.

Standing over a grave reminds me that an end of my days will evenutally come.  I ask myself am I living my life to its fullest?  I am available to just listen to people who need it?  To laugh with them or cry?  What sorts of memories am I leaving for my children, friends and aquaintances?

Perhaps a visit to a grave yard now and then would be good for your soul.  Realize life while you are living it.  It is indeed brief.

#WWJP

One day I am going to do some serious research on a day in the life of my FB newsfeed.  I think it would be an interesting case study to document the types of postings, the reasons why the post was made and the attitudes that are generated from a simple status up date.  

Its interesting what pops up on my newsfeed.  Sometimes its discouraging and quickly gets my blood boiling. Other times it sautrates  my soul with joy, especially to see what God is doing in the life and ministry of many of my former students (at least the ones that let me see and still have me as a friend!)

Here are some of the samplings of the attitudes and things I read today:  cynicism; self promotion;  conspiracy theorist; snarkism; current health status; world travels; scripture verses; beautiful photos of God's creation; what people eat; pictures of kids playing, laughing, eating, napping; ads for products I have no interest in...etc.  The list can go on and does so.

The things that get to me are the salvationists who continue to make flippant comments about things pertain to SA ministry, whether its policy and procedures, uniform wearing or what not.  In the back of my mind I think if it troubles you so much why in the world are you still sticking around?  And for gunny sacks, why are you posting it for the world to see?  It really doesn't change anything other than allowing the person to vent. And worse, it makes them look really bad.  At least my perception of them is bent.

I have developed a love hate relationship with all of this social media stuff.  In 2006 when I came to the staff training college I was asked to develop a course that explored current trends.  We are now in our 8th year of this course simply called "Emerging Trends."  Back then I required all of the students to keep a 'Xanga' account.  It was one of the first major blogging sites.

Of course now its exploding with facebook, vine, tumblr, and, as my father likes to call it, 'tweeter'.  In a weird way I sort of regret that we have all of this and that I actually encouraged people to use it.  I am rapidly moving in the other direction now as I have seen too many negative impacts that have resulted from a sour posting from a person having a bad moment.

I have made a really concerntrated effort to post on the positive side of things here.  I don't want to be cheesy or come across as super spiritual - that is really nothing but hiding behind my false self and reeks of Phariseeism.  One needs to be very intentional and mindful of a posting because you never know who may read it or what sort of lasting impression it will leave.  

So here are a few hash tags I would love to see pop up: #endingthenegative #wwjp  #whatwouldjesuspost

Lets keep the negative buried in our hard copy diaries.  When we post for others to read lets do so with keeping the glory of God in mind.  My aching heart will thank you.

Blocked Blog

So just when I was getting into the rhythm of writing in this old blog of mine again I hit a snag.  I have been offline due to limited access and blocked access.  Sometimes 'websense' makes no sense to me but I am flattered that my blog was blocked by Salvation Army access.  Then I found out the yahoo maps was blocked as well so I knew it wasn't a personal thing!

We had a terrific National Training Seminar at the Eastern Territories College for Officer Training.   I will write more about that experience soon.  What a grand time that was.

We have also had the chance to get to spend time with our daughter and son in law, Laura & Adam Fyn who showed us all around New York City.

Cindy had been invited to give a Kroc Talk to the good folks of the Camden New Jersey Corps.  We will continue to pray for Majors Cain and their staff as this beautiful center is starting to rise from the ashes in a city desperate for something like this.

We have also had the chance to spend time with some of our favorite people on planet earth: Mark and Josephine Morton and their beautiful girls.  They are playing host to us as we spend a couple of days with them in their home and we plan to visit the countryside of Pennslyvian.

I am taking a few days to unplug and unwind, doing this thing called 'sabbath.'  Needing time to retreat a bit as a busy academic year awaits.

More entries await.  Thanks for reading and for your words of encouragement.  Happy Summer!

Kind

One of the lessons I have learned along the way is never write something in survey I would never be willing to say in person to either the organizers of the event or to the professor directly.

Part of my current position requires me (can I say 'forces' me?) to read the results of surveys of all kinds.  We ask our students for feedback for numerous reasons.  Its a good way to measure if we are being effective in the service that we provide.  Its also part of the 'evidence' that we collect to share with our accrediting institution.

The difficult part for me is that no matter how hard or to what great lengths we go to make sure everything works fine, there is always someone that is never satisfied.   98 percent of the responders can find good and there is always that slim 2 percent margin that finds it all wrong.  That, in all reality, is just life.  A small percentage can only see the glass half empty.

The unfortunate thing is sometimes I read some very unkind comments made by people who I truly believe are called to be caring individuals.  The only solace I take from those sorts of remarks is that everyone of our students is actually going into a line of work where they will be evaluated, criticized  and picked apart every single day of their ministry life.   I suppose its a subtle way of pay back that will come their way.

I am amazed at times how unkind supposedly transformed people can be at times.  The witness that we give is not platitudes of God speak, our witness wear or draping ourselves in doctrine and dogma. Our witness is simple kindness.  Whether it is responding in a survey, how we treat the gate agent when our flight is delay or cancelled, how we respond to a slow waitress or an erratic driver on the road.

The evidence of the holy life is not you saying you are but the reflection you give off.  Even when you are having a bad day and you need to vent.  Its still not an excuse to spoil your witness.

I have been pondering the words of Paul these past twenty four hours:  "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Ephesians 4:27

I am stuck on the word 'kind'.  I am doing a self overhaul to make sure I am reflecting this fruit of the spirit in all I do.  Whether if its in an email, a social media post or my personal interactions with others.  

Someone is always watching.  Someone will always remember.  Each moment is an opportunity to extend the kingdom or squelch the spirit.

God helps us to pursue kindness more and more each day.

Endings & beginings

There is a tradition at our training college that the Cadets do a count down to their departure starting at the one hundred day mark.  100 days until 'freedom' from the rigours of training, homework, the schedule, rubrics, assignments and what not.  100 days until some would say they can get out into the 'real world' and begin 'real ministry.'

For the seventh year now as a CFOT staff member I have witnessed another session of cadets pass the 100 day mark, sign their covenants, walk across the stage to get their appointments and move on down the road to their new ministry opportunities.   Its truly an exciting thing to watch.  A transformation occurs in the teachable spirit (we do get a few 'know it all's" but they do learn a thing or two while here) after spending twenty two months in community.

On this Sunday I am thinking of these new officers as they experience their last 'free' Sunday until the burden of leadership truly begins to reside on their shoulders.  Its the moment when what was sureal becomes real.  The countdowns are over.  The anticipatation is passing.  The adjustments to life outside the community of sessionmates begins.  Reality begins.

A scripture that I often reflect on from the psalms in the context of my own ministry and passing life: "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."  Psalm 90:12

There are a set of numbers I have been dwelling on lately:  32, 8, 12.   This week I start my 32nd year as an officer in the Salvation Army.  I also start my 8th year in my appointment at CFOT.  And I have 12 years of active service as an officer left.

In these numbers my prayer is that I will truly gain 'a heart of widsom', that my life will reflect 'the so what' of ministry.  Countdowns and numbers in general can be elusaive, another way to waste time or they can be helpful for us to focus on the now.

My young officer friends have many years of work ahead of them.  May each one of them be found 'faithful in the day that tries by fire.'   CFOT life is over for them but a new begining awaits.  I pray that Psalm 90:12 will become a breathing reality for them and for me as we walk down this road of service for God together.

Blessings to the Proclaimers of the Resurrection session.  Go forward!

Post Modern Holiness

http://www.graceandpeacemagazine.org/magazine/archived-issues/21-issue-summerfall-2011/242-postmodern-holiness

A very helpful article by Diane Leclerc in regards to understanding the need to use metaphors in our holiness preaching and teaching in a Post Modern era


Here is a sample:

"I have a theory as to why: I believe we have a whole generation of pastors who were deeply affected by the very legalistic period in the history of the Wesleyan-Holiness tradition. Without going into a 20th-century history lesson, let’s just say the world obviously shifted in dramatic ways in the 1960s. For the emerging generation of holiness youth of that day, perfectionism would not cut it. Many left the tradition. I believe it is precisely the generation of pastors either going through this shift or being born in it who perhaps failed to find healthier ways to express our doctrine. We certainly did not want to continue to preach legalism. And so, perhaps, we ceased to preach Christian Perfection at all, or we chose words and metaphors so different from traditional holiness language that my students now fail to recognize what they heard as a unique or distinct message. I find this particularly acute around their understanding of sin, integrity, and sanctification."

Diane will be teaching us at the National Training Seminar in July as all the US and Canada training college staffs gather.